its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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