direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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