brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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