what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
