the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
