oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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