how can u be prego again
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
