Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
