just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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