How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
