You work out of a Hotel?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
