i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
