Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
