im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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