I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
