I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
