what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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