Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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