I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
