Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That accounts for only three of the penises
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
