There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Terrible idea I love it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
