I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
