Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
