It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
