Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
