This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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