I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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