Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
