Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
only if we run a train.
done.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Someone stole a lamp last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
