but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize