I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she smelled like a LAN party
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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