Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
