I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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