What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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