Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
