You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
