I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
