Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
