Where is the hickey?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
