guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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