I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
A bitchslap is in order.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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