but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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