I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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