Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
