glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
