Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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