that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
