Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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