"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
her vagine was all disorganized.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You were trust falling into bushes
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
