i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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