Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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