so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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