you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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