If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
