Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He called his prostate his "boner button".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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