This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
