I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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