i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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