dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
