I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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