i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
