oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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