Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
