He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
