So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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