If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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