You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
